Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I didn’t know what to expect as we passed some of the ubiquitous scaffolding that seemed indigenous to
to reach an innocuous white door standing ajar, its inner surface painted simply “Paddles.” New York City
I had written some mild BDSM scenes in my Ellora’s Cave books, but everything came from my imagination. This was the real thing.
No time to ponder. We were led to various points of interest:
Monday, September 24, 2012
Look forward to seeing YOU there!
|Last year's Cavemen in their 10,000 B.C. costumes. Yum!|
I’ll be attending RomantiCon 2012 on October 11-14 in
. If you’re in the area, stop by on Sunday from noon to 4:00pm for the free BookFair to meet and chat with dozens of Ellora’s Cave authors who will be autographing any books you purchase. Plus, the famous Cavemen will be in attendance. If you’re attending the entire Conference, look for me at these workshops: Canton, OH
Friday, October 11:
10 – 11am: A Man in the House is Worth Two in the Street! (Hosted by Cris Anson & Kaenar Langford) Members will work in groups to come up with clever ways to use dollar-store and household items to keep their man (or woman) in the house happy and titillated.
4 – 5pm: Book Reviews: Don't Call My Baby Ugly! (Hosted by authors Isabelle Drake & Cris Anson, reader Lori Avery & Two Lips reviewer Victoria) What do readers want/expect from reviewers? How are books chosen for review? Should authors read them, why or why not? And of course, what about those semi-dreaded, nonprofessional consumer reviews (on Amazon, Goodreads, blogs, etc., from anyone with fingers and an opinion?)
Saturday, October 12:
10 – 11am: Lube Your Mind! (Hosted by Cris Anson,
Diaz, M.A. Ellis & Kaenar Langford) Join our talented authors as they play Mad Libs with their own sexy excerpts, and be prepared to get down and dirty while guessing EC titles during a scintillating game of Charades. Dalton
Look forward to seeing YOU there!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
This four-part series discusses the BDSM Workshop for Writers taught by Dr. Charley Ferrer in
last month. Don't forget to check Kathy Kulig's blog for her own series about the weekend. New York
Now? I know that’s part of BDSM.
Misconceptions such as:
· BDSM is a 24/7 proposition, a lifetime (or at least long-term commitment). Wrong. Many folks only want to play on occasion, and sometimes with only one or two elements, such as exhibitionism or voyeurism or wearing leather.
· As soon as you enter into a D/s relationship, you get collared. Wrong. Giving or receiving a collar to the BDSM adherent is like a wedding ring. It is earned by mutual trust, commitment, communication and length of time together.
· Male subs are weaklings. Wrong. It takes a lot of strength and courage to kneel before another person and offer your trust. Many high-powered executives—doctors, CEOs, investment brokers—feel the need to be submissive after a rough day at the office.
· A “Switch” is bi-sexual. Those terms are not interchangeable. Bi-sexual means you are not averse to having sexual relations with both male and female partners. You are a Switch if you occasionally like to “top” (be dominant) as well as “bottom” (be submissive). If you are a true Dom or a true sub, you will never be a switch; it simply isn’t in your nature.
And speaking of “topping”, Top is not a synonym for Dominant. A Top is most likely a sub who is performing a service to someone else, probably at the request of his/her own Dom.
As well as correcting misconceptions, the weekend also brought some eye-openers:
· Communicating is one of the most vital components of the lifestyle. Not only filling out a checklist so both parties know where they stand, but constantly asking, “Are you okay?” while the receiver is bound or blindfolded and being subjected to whatever they’ve agreed to. And every Dominant worth the name will insist on “safe words” that will stop the play – “Red” being the most prevalent because it’s a universal “stop” sign, and “Yellow” for “Wait, let’s take a breather, I’m not ready to stop but something is wrong…” “No” and “Stop” are not safe words.
· BDSM practitioners are, by and large, not only friendly but warm and loving and eager to discuss their experiences and answer questions. They also, it goes without saying, are comfortable in their own bodies and their nudity.
· Dr. Charley proclaimed me an S.A.M. Apparently I’m a Smart-Ass Masochist. Only time will tell.
· Of the seven other writer participants, I pegged a sadist, a couple of subs, a voyeur, a couple of polyamorists, and one I couldn’t typecast.
Most importantly, remember SSC: safe, sane, consensual. Every BDSM adherent subscribes to this. If they don’t, beginners should run, not walk, away from them. For stronger, harder (more experienced) "edge play", some adhere to RACK: risk aware consensual kink.
Monday, September 10, 2012
We were not disappointed.
Dr. Charley, as she is known in the Community, holds a Masters in Counseling Psychology, a Doctorate in Human Sexuality, and certification as a Clinical Sexologist and Erotologist. She’s a TV/Radio host and producer, award-winning author and sex expert for Fox News Latino.
It will take several blogs to cover our weekend and what we learned and experienced regarding the subject of BDSM, so please feel free to return to this site often.
We met Dr. Charley’s assistant, Alison, who has been in a submissive relationship for about a year. Alison freely shared her experiences throughout the weekend. As well, Rev. Dr. Matthew Scrivens offered a session on Serial Killers and Mental Health Disorders to help us write more vivid villains. Dr. Matthew, who holds a Masters in psychology and Doctorate in religion, has worked with murderers, rapists and teen sex offenders. He’ll be guest-blogging here in the near future.
Over the next three full days, we
· listened raptly as we were led through the course.
· asked questions which were fully and honestly answered.
· watched demonstrations of several forms of Edge Play, such as Electrical Play (also known as Violet Wand Play) and Needle Play.
· visited Paddles, a public BDSM Club whose owner, Michael, took us through the adjoining private club, Pandora.
· practiced flogging.
· enjoyed excursions to Purple Passion (sex-toy store) and Leathermen’s Fetish Shop.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
My name is Cris Anson and I’m a virgin.
A blog-owning virgin, that is.
What are my passions? I’m passionate about, well, passion. The man-woman kind. The man-man-woman kind. The man-woman-man…you get the idea.
Recently I spent an educational weekend at the first BDSM Workshop for Writers in
, with a visit to a real, live dungeon. This will be the subject of a series of future blogs beginning next week. New York City
Please come back and discover what I learned and saw and experienced.
When Mercy casually touches Seth and Adam, her vividly erotic vision involving all three of them feels like a memory, not a dream, and awakens long-dormant sexual urges. With their kisses achingly familiar, she welcomes each in turn into her body. Then she spends a no-holds-barred weekend with both men in her bed and discovers an intimacy—and a past—that blows her mind.
Is she a slut, as she fears? Or are these three souls destined to rewrite their joint history from three hundred years ago?
So mark your calendar for some insights and opinions on BDSM beginning next week at Cris Anson’s Passions. And feel free to tell me what you think. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.