Back in the dark ages, when it was acceptable for parents to
discipline their children with corporal punishment, I remember—I was maybe six?
seven?—watching my older sister being whacked with a cat-o-nine-tails for some
dire infraction. Believe me, it made my brother and me behave. I was never on
the receiving end of my dad’s arm, but I did get coal and potatoes two
Christmases in a row.
Fast forward to last August, at Dr. Charley Ferrer’s BDSMfor Writers Weekend, when I was introduced to, among other things, the
subject of flogging. I wondered, why would folks want to be punished like that?
But I learned from more than a few happy recipients that a good flogging was
not unlike a vigorous massage.
So I jumped at the chance to attend Wise Protector’s recent “The
Art of Flogging” workshop and my mind was once again expanded.
One of the first things Wise did was to slap himself,
repeatedly, in the face with one of his own floggers to show that it doesn’t
hurt—unless, of course, you and your partner agree that you want it to. They
make a lot of noise on impact and can be wielded with dazzling artistry, but
pain? It’s not your grandfather’s instrument of punishment.
Matching thuddy floggers - photo courtesy of Wise Protector |
Wise’s array of a dozen floggers included many variations,
from broad tails to narrow, from soft materials to sturdy—rabbit fur to elk
hide to construction chalk-line. He demonstrated on a sweet and willing subject.
Thank you, SB, for standing around in your cute “spank me” panties while Wise utilized
various techniques on your back and butt. He illustrated that the broader the
tails, the “thuddier” the sound. Conversely, narrow tails produce more sting.
Tennis is a good metaphor for flogging, and Wise displayed
that kinship in his forehand, backhand, overhead and underhand strokes, and
even explored finding the “sweet spot”. When starting out, it’s more important
to get your strokes smooth rather than accurate. Later you can practice on a
stationary object such as a doorway, pillow or chair back. He stressed, “Be
sure you know what you’re doing before you attempt to flog a person.”
Before actual play, the Top should negotiate with his/her
play partner. You want to discover what they want out of the activity, how much
experience they’ve had, if there are any physical limitations, agreeing on safe
words. Wise stressed that it’s imperative to call “red” or other safe word (plain
English works fine for him) if something is going wrong. Play will stop, either
totally or simply to change some aspect of it. Both Top and Bottom should
respect that safety aspect—after all, the mantra of BDSM participants is “Safe,
Sane and Consensual”.
Well-worn rabbit-fur flogger - photo courtesy of Wise Protector |
Wise suggests you warm up the subject first with soft
strokes and soft tails. Getting into a rhythm is good; appropriate music helps
with this. In addition to rhythmic strokes, there should be a rhythm to the
entire play: rhythmic flogging for up to 10 minutes or longer, then increase
the intensity for one or two more. The point is to raise the subject’s
endorphin (or “feel-good”) levels. Then stop a moment, come in close to stroke
the warmed-up area with your palm, whisper some words of encouragement or
excitement, then continue flogging at a higher level.
Three or four more intervals of higher impact and heavier
endorphins should lead to a most pleasant result: either subspace or orgasm,
whichever was your aim during the negotiating. And Wise has diffidently
admitted to achieving both results with different subjects. (Disclaimer: the
endorphin angle is mine; Wise feels psychology has as much effect on the
partners as chemistry.)
When he finished his discussion, Wise opened the floor to
those who wished some hands-on experience. Why was I the only one out of 15
observers who grabbed this opportunity? With his prompting and coaching, I
practiced throwing (I learned that’s the correct term, not “swinging” or
“wielding”) the flogger with various strokes until my wrists felt more or less
comfortable with what I was demanding of them. I experimented with each hand
since I’m ambidextrous. Then a couple of intrepid males bared their backs for
me (thank you, BP and JE!). One was a submissive and the other a beginner still
learning where he was on the flogging continuum. I spent maybe 10 or 15 minutes
in deep concentration that I not hurt them while providing a modicum of
pleasure.
Their feedback? Mostly good. My opinion? I’d like to learn
more—on both sides of the swing. (And yes, I’ve been the happy recipient of a recent
flogging, but that’s the subject of another blog.)
As a final touch, Wise flogged the hostess to demonstrate
his masterful Florentine technique (using two floggers in a double-Dutch
configuration). That’s where the “art” comes in. The man was poetry in motion
and watching their faces, I could see both participants going into that spacey
world where endorphins ruled. I want to be next!
Wise recommended DeTails Toys as a place to learn the
various materials and styles of floggers as well as to purchase good product at
reasonable prices. (A good flogger can run up to $200.) He also suggested FriskyBusiness for a very educational guide to floggers. This site also discusses
timing and endorphin theories in more detail.
Wise Protector is the same expert flogger who gave M her
“getting to know you” flogging that she blogged about here. After having seen him in both speaking and flogging mode, I'm not surprised that Wise is in
demand as a presenter of workshops and demonstrations in the greater Delaware Valley area. He will be giving his
popular "Flogging 101" class again on July 14 at Philadelphia's
Sexploratorium. For more information on scheduling a workshop, contact him at
wise@bdsmandlove.com or via his website.
Happy flogging,
~~ Cris Anson
Thank you Cris for another informative post. I always look forward to your posts because I learn so much. With anything, flogging looks harder than it is. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I love sharing what I learn. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteGreat write up, Cris. Yes, I was one of those happy recipients during Dr. Charley's BDSM Writer's Workshop. Hesitant at first, but willing to experience for the sake of good writing details. :) It was like an intense massage.
ReplyDeleteI remember being riveted and scared watching you get flogged, Kathy, wondering if I should interfere because it sounded so harsh. But now I know she was just using a thuddy flogger. And you wound up smiling and spacey. The things that you learn when you do your research....
DeleteThank you Cris. This was a very good write-up. I think part of the attraction is that in our minds flogging is nastier than the reality -- the mind says "whip" while the body feels "aaaah."
ReplyDeletePracticing, or using a flogger on a live person, can also be a pretty good workout.
Thanks for commenting, Sindra. I've discovered how much effort it takes to throw a flogger. And one certainly expends energy on the receiving end as well!
DeleteI've certainly learned a lot from this article, thanks Cris. The only floggings I'd heard of before were in my brother's boarding school and I'm certain nobody told those in charge to "know what you are doing before you attempt to flog a person"... how one's perspective can change! Very informative.
ReplyDeleteFascinating, to say the least. Always so much to learn in this wonderful world
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Jean. I'm constantly amazed at my discoveries as I delve deeper into the BDSM world.
DeleteA wonderfully informative post, Cris. I wish I'd read this before I'd written my just-contracted book, My Lady of the Whip! I wonder whether part of the turn-on is expecting that evil-looking whip to hurt. After all, it is not your traditional massage tool.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Venetia. I Googled you and your book. Wow! Vikings and fjords and medieval back alleys. My Lady of the Whip sounds like a must-read.
ReplyDeleteCris, as always, I thoroughly enjoy your posts. Your descriptions are wonderful and really interesting! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us.
ReplyDeleteHi Nina, glad you stopped by. Thanks for your kind words. The more I learn about this lifestyle, the more fascinating it is to me and I'm happy to tell others.
ReplyDelete