Tuesday, November 24, 2015

WHEN ARE YOU TOO OLD TO ENJOY BDSM?


Every day the mail brings another glossy brochure touting a better supplemental Medicare insurance plan. Really, folks, I don’t need another reminder that I’m on the downside of 65.

But it got me to thinking. I don’t FEEL 65. I feel more like 45, especially when I’m thinking about, or actually participating in, BDSM activities.


So I scoured my brain and my friend list and set out to answer the question:

How old is too old?

Let’s see. There’s 75-year-old Tom who wears a pacemaker (his second one, he confides). He has ropes tied to the four posts of his bed and loves to provide forced orgasms, eliciting up to as many as 3 in an hour.

Or Dick, a retired cop of 72 who’s recovered from a recent heart attack and is back to doing what he loves best, grappling with a nearly naked female on a wrestling mat.

And Harry. Also 72, he’s still sailing and SCUBA diving, as well as enjoying the spanking bench and enduring clothes pins on strategic parts of his body.

By the way, did you notice the subtlety of the names Tom, Dick, and Harry? I’ll also be talking about Manny, Moe and Jack (do you have to be a certain age to recognize the Pep Boys?) These are all pseudonyms because I’m protective of everyone’s privacy. Some of the details are mixed as well, for the same reason, but they’re all details of folks I know. I’ve played with some of these characters, but I’ll leave it to you to figure out which ones.

OK, back to examples. How about 65-year-old Manny? He likes threesomes in hotel rooms, and can shift between being a vicious Dominant and a humiliated submissive as quickly as the weather changes.

Moe at 62 is quieter, but no less Dominant. He swings a mean flogger, but his specialty is caning. Ouch!


Jack is a polyamorous, kinky sexual addict who loves bondage toys and whips. Oh, he’s 63.

Yes, there are also women of my age group in the BDSM lifestyle. Let me tell you about Carrie, Alicia, Mariah, Taylor, Celine and other *ahem* musical friends.

Carrie, 65, is a gentle soul whose medical office is redolent of soothing candle scents. She’s a sensualist who enjoys bottoming for carefully chosen partners.

Alicia is also 65. She’s an outspoken proponent of Polyamory and, indeed, is a psychologist who specializes in their unique problems. She’s still undecided what her playing role might be.
At 59, Mariah is an intelligent and confident woman who runs her own business and takes no prisoners. She’s also a collared sub who willingly cedes control to her Dominant.

Taylor, 53, is submissive to two Dominants (at different times, and they know about each other) while running a testosterone-fueled department of van drivers and mechanics. Her dynamic is different from polyamorous.

Celine has been the center of an M/F/M relationship and loves being bound by rope, lots and lots of rope. Oh, she’s 57.

There are also a few ladies who coyly list themselves as 94 or 95. We know that’s not true, but it’s a measure of their vanity to not have others know they are actually in their 70s. Several, in fact, were in the BDSM/Leather vanguard 30 years ago and are the repository of so much history in their brains, it’s a pleasure to converse with them.

Now, how about a couple of couples?

George and Amal are both 58. He’s a hard-driving IT specialist who runs a Fifties-style household. As soon as George comes home, he hooks Amal to a sturdy eye-bolt in the central hallway with a 50-foot chain and she’s always tethered except when he’s away at work. During the day she cleans, runs errands, pays bills, and keeps house. And maybe sneaks in a nap.


Then there’s Antony and Cleopatra (ages 58 and 56, respectively). Married for over 30 years, they’ve been doing BDSM-style things behind closed doors until a couple of years ago, when they came “out” in a big way. Now Antony beats the crap out of her in public and Cleo, being a brat, eggs him on and deliberately provokes him for further bruising.

Let’s not forget Kim and Kanye. Mistress Kim is 53 and her slave is 55. Both work full-time, but when they are home, he wears a heavy collar and is often punished for infractions by being made to sleep in the closet. During playtime he’s also decked out in wrist and ankle bands, all the better to harness him to receive Kim’s heavy impact play.

Mistress Adele is a Domme of 56 who is married to a Dominant a dozen years older. They have a loving marriage but often pursue separate interests with a wide variety of submissives and bottoms. And toys.

To round out the picture, how about some committed threesomes?

Charles, Diana and Camilla come to mind. Charles is a 65-year-old Dominant who plays hard, hits hard, and squeezes hard. He often strings up Diana and Camilla alongside each other, or tied face-to-face, and is adept at giving them equal attention with a flogger in each hand. Both women are highly intelligent with responsible positions in the business world. They are 59 and 58 and they both adore him.

Then there are Brad, Angelina and Jennifer. In his mid-60s, Brad has two slaves and spends private time with each. He’s a heavy sadist and often leaves both of them bleeding and bruised and they come back for more. At 58 and 55, the women know what they want! And he gives it to them.

So. To reiterate the question,

When are you too old to enjoy BDSM?

Short answer: NEVER!

~~ Cris Anson