Tuesday, November 24, 2015


Every day the mail brings another glossy brochure touting a better supplemental Medicare insurance plan. Really, folks, I don’t need another reminder that I’m on the downside of 65.

But it got me to thinking. I don’t FEEL 65. I feel more like 45, especially when I’m thinking about, or actually participating in, BDSM activities.

So I scoured my brain and my friend list and set out to answer the question:

How old is too old?

Let’s see. There’s 75-year-old Tom who wears a pacemaker (his second one, he confides). He has ropes tied to the four posts of his bed and loves to provide forced orgasms, eliciting up to as many as 3 in an hour.

Or Dick, a retired cop of 72 who’s recovered from a recent heart attack and is back to doing what he loves best, grappling with a nearly naked female on a wrestling mat.

And Harry. Also 72, he’s still sailing and SCUBA diving, as well as enjoying the spanking bench and enduring clothes pins on strategic parts of his body.

By the way, did you notice the subtlety of the names Tom, Dick, and Harry? I’ll also be talking about Manny, Moe and Jack (do you have to be a certain age to recognize the Pep Boys?) These are all pseudonyms because I’m protective of everyone’s privacy. Some of the details are mixed as well, for the same reason, but they’re all details of folks I know. I’ve played with some of these characters, but I’ll leave it to you to figure out which ones.

OK, back to examples. How about 65-year-old Manny? He likes threesomes in hotel rooms, and can shift between being a vicious Dominant and a humiliated submissive as quickly as the weather changes.

Moe at 62 is quieter, but no less Dominant. He swings a mean flogger, but his specialty is caning. Ouch!

Jack is a polyamorous, kinky sexual addict who loves bondage toys and whips. Oh, he’s 63.

Yes, there are also women of my age group in the BDSM lifestyle. Let me tell you about Carrie, Alicia, Mariah, Taylor, Celine and other *ahem* musical friends.

Carrie, 65, is a gentle soul whose medical office is redolent of soothing candle scents. She’s a sensualist who enjoys bottoming for carefully chosen partners.

Alicia is also 65. She’s an outspoken proponent of Polyamory and, indeed, is a psychologist who specializes in their unique problems. She’s still undecided what her playing role might be.
At 59, Mariah is an intelligent and confident woman who runs her own business and takes no prisoners. She’s also a collared sub who willingly cedes control to her Dominant.

Taylor, 53, is submissive to two Dominants (at different times, and they know about each other) while running a testosterone-fueled department of van drivers and mechanics. Her dynamic is different from polyamorous.

Celine has been the center of an M/F/M relationship and loves being bound by rope, lots and lots of rope. Oh, she’s 57.

There are also a few ladies who coyly list themselves as 94 or 95. We know that’s not true, but it’s a measure of their vanity to not have others know they are actually in their 70s. Several, in fact, were in the BDSM/Leather vanguard 30 years ago and are the repository of so much history in their brains, it’s a pleasure to converse with them.

Now, how about a couple of couples?

George and Amal are both 58. He’s a hard-driving IT specialist who runs a Fifties-style household. As soon as George comes home, he hooks Amal to a sturdy eye-bolt in the central hallway with a 50-foot chain and she’s always tethered except when he’s away at work. During the day she cleans, runs errands, pays bills, and keeps house. And maybe sneaks in a nap.

Then there’s Antony and Cleopatra (ages 58 and 56, respectively). Married for over 30 years, they’ve been doing BDSM-style things behind closed doors until a couple of years ago, when they came “out” in a big way. Now Antony beats the crap out of her in public and Cleo, being a brat, eggs him on and deliberately provokes him for further bruising.

Let’s not forget Kim and Kanye. Mistress Kim is 53 and her slave is 55. Both work full-time, but when they are home, he wears a heavy collar and is often punished for infractions by being made to sleep in the closet. During playtime he’s also decked out in wrist and ankle bands, all the better to harness him to receive Kim’s heavy impact play.

Mistress Adele is a Domme of 56 who is married to a Dominant a dozen years older. They have a loving marriage but often pursue separate interests with a wide variety of submissives and bottoms. And toys.

To round out the picture, how about some committed threesomes?

Charles, Diana and Camilla come to mind. Charles is a 65-year-old Dominant who plays hard, hits hard, and squeezes hard. He often strings up Diana and Camilla alongside each other, or tied face-to-face, and is adept at giving them equal attention with a flogger in each hand. Both women are highly intelligent with responsible positions in the business world. They are 59 and 58 and they both adore him.

Then there are Brad, Angelina and Jennifer. In his mid-60s, Brad has two slaves and spends private time with each. He’s a heavy sadist and often leaves both of them bleeding and bruised and they come back for more. At 58 and 55, the women know what they want! And he gives it to them.

So. To reiterate the question,

When are you too old to enjoy BDSM?

Short answer: NEVER!

~~ Cris Anson

Friday, August 28, 2015


My readers know that I’ve been a fan of Dr. Charley Ferrer ever since she hosted the first BDSM Writers Workshop Weekend in New York City in 2012. I wrote about it here1, here2, here3, and here4 (#4 is by far my most-read of 93 blogs).

I recently returned from my fourth writers’ weekend with Dr. Charley and her assistant, the efficient and effective Rose C. Carole. Last year they inaugurated a full-blown conference as opposed to a dozen aficionados sitting in a circle absorbing Dr. Charley’s wisdom in 2012 and 2013. This year’s conference was even better than 2014’s, and I’ll write more in a later blog.


I’m bustin’ my britches with pride, so, first things first.

My critique partner, Rose C. Carole, won the BDSM Book Contest and received a contract for the publication of her first novel, CATERING TO HIS NEEDS. It's the first of a BDSM-themed series regarding four friends who run a catering business. Totally Bound is the lucky publisher who will release this book on December 1. Read about CATERING TO HIS NEEDS here.

With Dr. Charley’s permission I was able, at the closing ceremonies of the Con, to present Rose with a leather rose crop as a token of my pride in her accomplishment. Here’s a photo of us, taken by Andrew Knowlton. The crop was hand-made by Bo Blaze of DeTails Toys, one of the workshop presenters and a vendor at the Con.

Cris Anson, Rose C. Carole receiving the rose, Dr. Charley Ferrer
But Rose wasn’t the only winner. The second-place finisher in the Book Contest, ArleeScott, received a contract for ROOM 329 from Riverdale Avenue Books.

And that’s not all. Riverdale also chose to offer contracts to all three finalists in the non-fiction category (these do not have websites yet):

Mistress Lynne, for SERVE YOUR MISTRESS
Summer Sterling, for BEYOND OBEDIENCE
Chloe Youngquist, for MISTER’S DARLING

And now for the Golden Flogger Award winners, who received, in addition to a certificate, an actual Golden Flogger made and donated by DeTails Toys. Mike Makai is holding his flogger in the photo below.

Mike Makai and Mistress Lynne (right) with Dr. Charley Ferrer
BDSM Light – Sierra Cartwright, CRAVE (she’ll be our Keynote Speaker in New York City next August!)

BDSM Advanced – Cherise Sinclair, EDGE OF THE ENFORCER

BDSM Dark Erotica – Drury Jamison, SAFE WORDS

Novella – Elizabeth SaFleur, HOLIDAY TIES

Dominant Women & submissive Men – Lynda Aicher, BONDS OF COURAGE


Menage – Jennifer Kacey, JENNA’S CONSENT

Paranormal – Joey W. Hill, THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD


Anthology – Edited by D.L. King – SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED    

Oh. And just to add some color, here’s a photo of me at the Book Fair with our Keynote Speaker, the great Cecilia Tan.

Now. More great news.

For those of you who can’t get to New York City for this terrific conference, Dr. Charley has inaugurated a West Coast Con. Look for the BDSM Writers Con-West in Everett, Washington, over the weekend of March 30-April 2, 2016, with Keynote Speaker Tiffany Reisz. Yes, this is in addition to next year’s Con in New York August 18-21, 2016. Scroll down on this page to find links to both Cons.

I’m so grateful for Dr. Charley and her staff for running such a great conference. I truly believe that knowledge will free each of us to be ourselves. And if you want to write about it, I want to read it *grin*. So mark your calendars now!

And stay tuned for more from me.

~~ Cris Anson

Friday, August 14, 2015


Can’t wait until next Wednesday when I head to New York City for this year’s BDSMWriters Con. I’ve gone every year since its inception in 2012, when it was called the BDSM Writers Weekend Workshop. That year, eight kinky authors met in a hotel suite with Dr. Charley Ferrer, the founder and mastermind of what has morphed into a full-blown, four-day conference.
Sunday's Book Fair open to the public.
This year, on August 20-23, almost 150 are expected at the DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Metropolitan on Lexington Avenue. My, how we’ve grown!

And no wonder. Dr. Charley has lined up some dynamite presenters along with Keynote Speaker Cecilia Tan, an RT Book Review nominee for the Lifetime Achievement Award in Erotica. Workshops will include demonstrations by well-known lifestyle practitioners such as Bo Blaze, Traveling Fool and Mary Ann, Eric Pride, Sir Guy, Michael Makai, Victor Tella, Nauttiboy, and others who know whereof they speak. A number of authors, myself included, will be giving workshops on writing BDSM.

For me, one of the most exciting aspects of the Con has been the annual visit to a Dungeon on Saturday evening. Those who have been reading my blogs know that I’ve shared my experiences every year, and I look forward to getting more hands-on research done at the Dungeon next week. Check out the pertinent blogs from 2012, 2013 and 2014 to learn what you might see and do if you join us.

Golden Flogger Award Finalist
But it’s not just for writers. If you’re interested in BDSM as a reader or want to learn about various aspects of it in a safe environment (including hands-on experience if you’re so inclined!), you are more than welcome to attend. There’s still time to sign up.

Oh, and let’s not forget: the Sunday (August 23) Book Fair from noon to 4:00pm is free and open to the public. Vendors will also be on hand with their wares. I’ll be among two dozen authors selling and signing their books.

Now, please allow me a little self-promo:

My latest novella, AARON’S JEWEL, is a Golden Flogger Award finalist.
Golden Flogger Award Finalist
REDEMPTION AND GLORY, the third in my “Passion and Punishment” series, is a finalist in the “BDSM Advanced” category. Winners will be announced during the Conference. 

In addition, my stories are featured in the BDSM Writers Con Anthology in 2014 and 2015. This year’s Anthology will be available at the Book Fair Sunday, August 23, or can be pre-ordered at Amazon. 

Do come and join us at the BDSM Writers Con. I know you’ll have a terrific and informative weekend.

~~ Cris Anson